August 19, 2008
comment to Jimigarcia27
I think having open-minded is important in any conversations, and the process of building relationship can be affected by it. The more you open to your listeners, there are better chance for you to create close relationship with them. I also had chosen the same topic for this project: disclosure. I was excited to find someone who had been working on the same topic, Jimigarcia27. Also, it was interesting for me to read about examples by Jimigarcia27 who was taking examples from one person instead writing examples from several different people. This method actually helped me to have clear idea about being open since I got the chances to experience how a person was able to show different ways to be opened. On Jimigarcia27’s weblog, he was describing a student from “Group Dynamics class”, Summer22. In this class, Summer22 was able to show herself to the other classmates by exchanging comments with them. Jimigarcia27 said “it prompted her to be responsive with openness to express her agreement and new points as well.” By accepting the comments of the other student with open mind, Summer22 was able to make his agreement or new points. Without being open, it would have not been easy for him to agree with someone else. This also allows him to continue to keep their relationship by doing nexting from sharing comments. Like how Jimigarcia27 had pointed out, the way summer27 had described herself was a great example to show someone being open: “I’m a pretty passionate person, so I know that I need to be cautious of not being too overpowering, my goal has always been to express my views but make sure that everyone else feels comfortable expressing their own views.” This statement includes a good amount of description about herself, and her goals. It concluded by how oneself should be open to the others while showing yourself to them.
comment to tennisfan816
Tennisfan816 defined empathy as “When we listen to other people talk, we find ways to relate to them such as understanding their situation, thoughts and feelings. By doing this, we are being empathic.” I think a person cannot be defined as open unless they are showing their empathies. Being open-minded not only requires listening to whatever the others have to say, but one needs to reflect those stories with your own experiences or feelings. Tennisfan816 had backed up this idea with examples from what we had been doing in this class. Especially, when we had to write our first blog about what we had learned this summer, we had to leave comments to the other students. Most of people who left comments to the specific blogs had similar experience or interest with that blogs. In this way, those people had found some connection with the stories of the blog, and they were able to leave comments. The way I am now critiquing her team project can be considered as showing my empathies to her, because I am able to understand or feel the same way about how tennisfan816 think of empathy.
comment to Steph’s lecture
For my critique, I have discussed about openness and empathy. Interestingly, I was able to create connection between them. When we have any conversation, it is important to be open about yourself or what you hear. In other words, we need to show our emotions toward those conversations, and we need to express our thoughts. The way we are expressing our emotion or thoughts can be defined as being empathetic. Therefore, I conclude that they have a close relationship with each other. Also, one cannot be fully opened without being empathetic.
I think these two important interpersonal communications make people to create conflicts or it can sometimes help them to solve conflicts in good ways. In chapter 10 from “Bridge not walls” by John Stewart, he has described conflicts as a tool that can bring people more closely to each others: those conflicts can help people to destroy the walls that they have with the other people and build strong bridges instead. When you being open about yourself, I think there is possibilities that you might create conflicts with the other person. Everyone is different and the way they think is also different. Therefore, it is hard to expect someone to agree with your opinions; and they might disagree with it. In this case, the conflicts have to be created since they are having a hard time with accepting the each other’s differences. No one would enjoy hearing negative opinions about something that you believe to be right. I think it is same for putting your emotion to conversation. Too much emotion or too little emotions can bring discomfort to the listeners. That discomfort can be another reason to create bigger conflicts. However, the conflicts are not always bad according to Stewart, and we can use it as a tool to make bridges the others.
Mary Vilbon said,
August 20, 2008 at 10:24 am
After reading the competing theories of interpersonal communication I was drawn to the theory of discourse. Discourse allows us to have and create conversations, arguments, and speeches. During these conversations, arguments, and speeches our openness gives us the opportunity to develop relationships. “I think having open-minded is important in any conversations, and the process of building relationship can be affected by it. The more you open to your listeners, there are better chance for you to create close relationship with them,” stated Ooloveshoo.
In developing our identity it is helpful to be honest in disclosing information, but in human nature we tend to protect ourselves from certain situations. “Openness is a tricky thing – when do we use it, how much do we use of it, to whom, how? So on and so forth. By reading this group’s presentation it is clear that often times people withhold how open and self-disclosed they are through fear of being judged, dislike, ostracized. They explained how John Robinson experienced all of these things simply because he spoke what was on his mind, some people call this not having a filter, others call it being real, stated commsyr09 ( http://jimigarcia27.wordpress.com/).
In most instance I feel self disclosure can be a benefit to building relationships and our personal identity. It stirs conversations and sometimes arguments that can help us learn about others and ourselves. “Being open with and to other people” “explains how the self-disclosure can be used to enhance the relationships between the people”. The way openness is being described here shows us how it can create an opportunity to have a real “fierce” conversation. After all when you are open when you self disclose you are being authentic, hence the “fierce” conversation. Both team two and team four have illustrated how being open with other people, while at the same time helping explain why self disclosure could be helpful when communicating with others. These teams have also helped portray alternate ways to create an opportunity for an authentic conversation.
http://ohnothecakeisalie.wordpress.com/2008/08/
impression management and disclosure « Ooloveshoo’s Weblog said,
August 21, 2008 at 3:56 am
[...] Mary Vilbon said that “it is clear that often times people withhold how open and self-disclosed they are through fear of being judged, dislike, ostracized.” I think this is the most important problem about impression management. Some people fear about being judged by the others and they do not want impression management. [...]